I’ve recently done some housekeeping in my personal life. I had been holding on to people who were really just bringing me down. I tend to do that sometimes. I’m sort of a hoarder of memories. I base relationships on the good times I had with the person, rather than the present relationship we have. Today, in honor of the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday, I’ve decided to love myself enough to take out the trash.
The fact of the matter is that some people are toxic for your happiness. I don’t know about you, but some people who were in my life stole the joy right from it whenever we came in contact. I kept giving myself excuses as to why I needed to keep that person in my life, but the truth is, no one is entitled to your friendship. Friendship should be earned. The amount of time or trails and tribulations that a person’s been through with someone should not be the determining factor to the future of the relationship. The quality should. How does that person make you feel? It took me years to learn this and I’m sure it’s something I’ll be working on forever, but so far, I learned there were at least 5 types of people I needed to remove from my life immediately. They consisted of:
1- the flip flopper
This is the person who was my best friend one day and a stranger the next. I never knew where we stood. If I made plans with the flip flopper, I was never sure if she was going to show up, if she was going to cancel on me at the last minute, or worst, just plain old stand me up. She had to go.
2 – the deadbeat
This is the person who was never there for me. I had a party, she didn’t show up. I called in a time of need, she didn’t pick up. In fact the only reason I knew what’s even going on in her life was because I still followed her on Instagram – so why even do that? She had to go.
3- the debby downer
This person had nothing nice to say. When I told her about my dreams, she told me several reasons why my dreams would not come true. When I was feeling good about my outfit, she pointed out the flaws. For every uplifting thing I said, she said an even stronger negative rebuttal… she had to go.
4- the annoyance
This person just plain old irked my soul. The things she said, the things she did, even the stuff she wore, they all annoyed me. When I saw her face pop across my Instagram, I rolled my eyes. She simply got on my nerves, so she had to go.
5- the User
This person tried to suck me dry and spit me out. She was only my friend to see what she could gain from me, but never had anything to bring back to the table. If I was planning a trip, she wanted to ride but didn’t want to help pay. If I was planning a business venture, she wanted to partner, but didn’t want to work. When she needed something, she called me, but if she wasn’t in need, she fell off the face of the earth… she had to go.
These types of people added no value to my life. While we were friends, I always found myself giving way more than I could ever receive. I had to let them go. I cut all ties and I’m not looking back. If you’ve been there before, you’ve tried to repair the relationship but it’s just not working, let dying things die. Stop trying to bring something that’s on its last leg back to life. Make room for stronger healthier relationships, and let the unhealthy ones go.
Did I miss any? Who are the types of people that you’ve cut out your life today?
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