I’ve recently done some housekeeping in my personal life. I had been holding on to people who were really just bringing me down. I tend to do that sometimes. I’m sort of a hoarder of memories. I base relationships on the good times I had with the person, rather than the present relationship we have. Today, in honor of the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday, I’ve decided to love myself enough to take out the trash.
The fact of the matter is that some people are toxic for your happiness. I don’t know about you, but some people who were in my life stole the joy right from it whenever we came in contact. I kept giving myself excuses as to why I needed to keep that person in my life, but the truth is, no one is entitled to your friendship. Friendship should be earned. The amount of time or trails and tribulations that a person’s been through with someone should not be the determining factor to the future of the relationship. The quality should. How does that person make you feel? It took me years to learn this and I’m sure it’s something I’ll be working on forever, but so far, I learned there were at least 5 types of people I needed to remove from my life immediately. They consisted of:
Building a friendship is a lot like dating. If I had a penny for every time I’ve said this, I’d be pretty well off. I’ve learned the hard way that true friendships do not come easy. It’s a lot of hard work – and you don’t even get the intimacy, so some may say it’s not even worth it. When I moved to Delaware, I never thought that it would be this difficult to make new friends. I had plenty of friends in New York, but Delaware is like a friendship desert. Where are all those ladies I saw myself having brunch with every Saturday like they did in Sex and the City? Isn’t that what adult friendships look like? I love my boyfriend, but he’s not the only person I want to spend my time with and just doesn’t feed into the secret sharing I long to do with my girls over happy hour. High school and college gives you false expectations of friendship building. Gone are the days of saying “hey, what class are you in?” equaling out to a new best bud. Making new friends as an adult is hard work! It truly is like dating. Hear me out: (more…)